Proverbs 17:9
9 He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.



Today I just want to share about forgiveness between friends. I believe we've all been let down by our own friends before. Even marriage partners and family members are still friends. The verse here today is talking about something very simple, and that is to forgive those who have hurt us especially our friends. So today, I want to focus on how repeating an offence can be an act of unforgiveness or an act of sowing discord.

What does it mean to "repeat a matter?" The New Living Translation makes it simple for us to understand. It says,

Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)
9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.

The key word is "dwelling." In other words, when your friend says something to hurt or offend you maybe by accident or on purpose, the person apologizes, repents and is willing to change for the better and make restitution. However, suddenly you keep humming and grumbling about it, "If only you didn't do this" or "If only you didn't say that." "If only...if only...if only." The thing is, you are always harping on it and constantly reciting what happened and continuously thinking about the past. All this separates friends. And this verse is not just talking about ordinary friendship, it's talking about CLOSE FRIENDS. The moment you start doing that, your friendship begins to tear and people will start to dislike you.

One time when I was young around Primary 6. I bought this toy called the D-tector. It was a Digimon game which they called a Digivice. I remember I was always playing it and Wei Loong my good friend was interested in getting one too. So we went to Parkway Parade to look for one together and we found another Digimon game that looked like a Digivice but wasn't, I think it was called a D-Gadget or something like that. When he saw it, he liked it too because not only was it good looking but it was also cheaper. So he was contemplating which to get. So I didn't know which one either cause I also liked the D-gadget thingy. So I said, "It's your choice. Maybe the D-gadget might be fun, just try who knows, you might like it. It's cheaper too." After about half an hour, we bought it. Wei Loong was so disappointed when he started playing that useless thing. The next day in school, he came up to me complaining about the game, and I asked why and he showed it to me. Then I realized how bad it was. The irritating part was when he kept on saying, "EH, you say this one is fun, you cheated my money." Initially I could take his sarcasm and mumurring. After a while it got really annoying. Firstly was because I had apologized for not being able to encourage him to buy the Digivice instead because the Digivice was 10 times more fun. Secondly, I was willing to help him get a Digivice but I was only in Primary school with only money to eat in the tuckshop. Where will I get money to buy a digivice for him? Of course, this incident almost tore me apart, but it didn't. But there were times I think I did have fall outs with Wei Loong. Not only Wei Loong, but also my other primary school friends who eventually went through the same secondary school as me in Secondary One. Till today, some of these friends whom i had fall outs with before, are all some of my closest friends.

We managed to become friends again because of forgiveness. Friends, if you want to have strong friendships, you must be willing to forgive one another for all of each other's trespasses. Once in a while, we will always cross each other's boundaries, but we must learn to let go and to forgive and to forget. The moment you harp on things, that's when the friendship starts to separate and that's how hate manifests as well. So I challenge those of you including myself that if there have been misunderstandings or mistakes you've made toward one another, make an effort to apologize and make restitution and to forgive one another. Don't murmur or complain, just let it go and laugh it off and avoid committing the same offense too.

I close with one last example. Jesus Christ our ultimate example, had 12 close friends. He knew they would betray Him, and He knew Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter would deny and betray Him. Yet the Bible says, "He loved them till the end." The 12 of them while with Jesus for 3.5 years, also made countless mistakes, but Jesus never once condemned them or harped on their mistakes, instead, He rebuked them with love and taught them how to become people of greater influence through prayer and many other things. He still showed them signs and miracles for them to see and believer. Even today, as friends of God, we will still let Him down too. However, God is not going to harp on our mistakes. Instead, He will forgive us and cleanse us with the Blood of Jesus and give us the grace and the ability to become people of destiny.

Forgive and you'll be forgiven saith the Lord Jesus. Amen and God Bless!